I’ve had to leave my disoriented beloved at the ER 3 times, while he was having a stroke, knowing that he can’t advocate properly for himself and having to trust that they will call me to discuss treatment. The kicker is that each time, I had to smile and wave goodbye cheerily, even though I was aware that the next time I saw him would be at either discharge or death. It’s been a year. It’s folly to think I can get through it just fine. Truth is, I can endure anything. And resilience is overrated. If we get through all this, it’s still a win.