In February of 2020 my husband was admitted to the hospital. By the second week of March we were fighting to even get into the hospital to see him. The lockdowns had just started here in Iowa. We were told he would need to be placed on hospice and we had to move him to a different facility in order to be with him during his final days.
Losing someone is hard enough. But when the pandemic came in and shut down life as we knew it, the process of grieving became the most difficult thing I’ve had to live through. We were isolated and alone. It was like the world just stopped. We were unable to hold a funeral or get-together as a family for any kind of memorial. No hugs or comfort as we would usually have had. It was like the pandemic took away the act of grieving from us completely.
We did our best to work through the first few months thinking we would have the opportunity to hold a memorial service in the summer. But that was put to a halt again with rising infections and deaths.
Not being able to do any of the traditional loss things was mentally and emotionally trying. How do you find closure when it seems as if their death didn’t happen?
I have two children whose lives were upended completely all in just a few days’ time, the only person they could seek comfort from was me, their mom. And I was in full grief and shock mode. Nothing was normal anymore.
The lack of support across the board felt very lonely. It’s still lonely. We have not had any services & we are one year out from our loss on March 18th.
Grieving in 2020 could be described as a loss of life on every level.
One thing I’m thankful for in all of this sadness is that we were able to be with him. There were so many that died without their family by their side. I grieve for their losses and experiences as well.